Teenagers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was reading Red Mums blog , she was talking about her daughter, who is a teenager and it really rang true with me as I have an almost 14 yr old step son and a 13 1/2 yr old daughter. Now they are very different people with different interests and personalities but they do share some traits which , it seems from reading other blogs, all teenagers have in common.
They are the centre of the universe, the world and the rest of the planets revolve around them and when they need to do something the world must stop revolving until they are sorted out.
Any idea that Mum and Dad may have a life to lead too is just too unbelievable.
Like:-
Loving daughter " can I go to the disco at (insert name of any venue here)"
Me " when is it?"
LD " Friday night"
Me " Might be a problem, what time does it start and finish?"
LD "7 til 9.30 why is it a problem?"
Me " because I have arranged to go out on Friday night"
LD " Out, out where?"
Me " to meet some friends for a pint, is it that incredible that I have friends or a social life?"
LD " No, but I have told everyone that you will take them home afterwards"
Me "Well you will have to untell them, and why would you tell them I would before checking with me?"
LD " Because we are the only ones with a 7 seater car,so you can pick everyone up, otherwise it means 2 parents coming out"
Me " oh heaven forbid that other parents should pick their children up"
LD " Daaaaaad will you , cos it will be dead embarrassing if I have to go and tell them you wont now"
Me " sorry I have already made arrangements, I will be happy to pick them all up at home a drop them off at the disco, if you can all arrange who is picking you up"
LD " Right, whatever, don't you care that I'll be really shown up now?"
Me " and I need to speak to the parents picking you up before the night"
LD " Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad I'm not six you know"
Me(laughing) " I know you just do good impression don't you"
LD " Your not funny you know"
Me " Well I Make me laugh"
Cue LD rolling eyes, walking away muttering to herself
My eldest son who is almost 14 has developed this really quite peculiar and extremely annoying trait of telling lies in answer to questions that really aren't that important that they would need lying about.
Stupid stuff like have you made your sandwiches for lunch tomorrow? He says yes, then when I go in the fridge for the milk later, no sign of said sandwiches, so I think eewwww he hasn't put them in his bag already has he and shout him.
Me "Where are your sandwiches?"
Loving son " " ( that's one of his famous blank looks)
Me " Have you put them in your bag already?"
LS " Yes"
Me " Tut don't be disgusting , you will make yourself ill, go and get them and put them straight in the fridge"
LS " ok" Rolls eyes and walks off towards bedroom
10 minutes later still no sign of LS or sandwiches
Me " LS you have exactly 30 seconds to bring those sandwiches down"
LS "muuppphhhh ssyyyygghhh" (Muffled reply)
Me "29, 28, 27"
the sound of a migrating herd of wilderbeasts comes from the stairs
LS appears but no sandwiches
Me" where are the sandwiches?"
LS " I haven't made any"
Me " But you said they were in your bag"
LS " I know, I thought I had made them but I hadn't"
Me "?????????????????????????????????" (that's my wtf look)
Sometimes it hurts my brain being a Dad
They are the centre of the universe, the world and the rest of the planets revolve around them and when they need to do something the world must stop revolving until they are sorted out.
Any idea that Mum and Dad may have a life to lead too is just too unbelievable.
Like:-
Loving daughter " can I go to the disco at (insert name of any venue here)"
Me " when is it?"
LD " Friday night"
Me " Might be a problem, what time does it start and finish?"
LD "7 til 9.30 why is it a problem?"
Me " because I have arranged to go out on Friday night"
LD " Out, out where?"
Me " to meet some friends for a pint, is it that incredible that I have friends or a social life?"
LD " No, but I have told everyone that you will take them home afterwards"
Me "Well you will have to untell them, and why would you tell them I would before checking with me?"
LD " Because we are the only ones with a 7 seater car,so you can pick everyone up, otherwise it means 2 parents coming out"
Me " oh heaven forbid that other parents should pick their children up"
LD " Daaaaaad will you , cos it will be dead embarrassing if I have to go and tell them you wont now"
Me " sorry I have already made arrangements, I will be happy to pick them all up at home a drop them off at the disco, if you can all arrange who is picking you up"
LD " Right, whatever, don't you care that I'll be really shown up now?"
Me " and I need to speak to the parents picking you up before the night"
LD " Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad I'm not six you know"
Me(laughing) " I know you just do good impression don't you"
LD " Your not funny you know"
Me " Well I Make me laugh"
Cue LD rolling eyes, walking away muttering to herself
My eldest son who is almost 14 has developed this really quite peculiar and extremely annoying trait of telling lies in answer to questions that really aren't that important that they would need lying about.
Stupid stuff like have you made your sandwiches for lunch tomorrow? He says yes, then when I go in the fridge for the milk later, no sign of said sandwiches, so I think eewwww he hasn't put them in his bag already has he and shout him.
Me "Where are your sandwiches?"
Loving son " " ( that's one of his famous blank looks)
Me " Have you put them in your bag already?"
LS " Yes"
Me " Tut don't be disgusting , you will make yourself ill, go and get them and put them straight in the fridge"
LS " ok" Rolls eyes and walks off towards bedroom
10 minutes later still no sign of LS or sandwiches
Me " LS you have exactly 30 seconds to bring those sandwiches down"
LS "muuppphhhh ssyyyygghhh" (Muffled reply)
Me "29, 28, 27"
the sound of a migrating herd of wilderbeasts comes from the stairs
LS appears but no sandwiches
Me" where are the sandwiches?"
LS " I haven't made any"
Me " But you said they were in your bag"
LS " I know, I thought I had made them but I hadn't"
Me "?????????????????????????????????" (that's my wtf look)
Sometimes it hurts my brain being a Dad
posted by Steve @ 12:48 pm
8 Comments:
At Sat Oct 01, 12:03:00 am,
Doris said…
Definitely laughing out loud here! "I know, I thought I had made them but I hadn't"
Our 11 year old son also specialises in slipping out untruths for inconsequential things and he weaves in and out of questioning that I want to bang my head against the wall.
Parents of the world unite!
At Sun Oct 02, 11:56:00 am,
Huw said…
I admire your patience.
Housemate's are too much for me to bear, and I don't have any responsibility for them, let alone have to provide them with Taxi duties.
At Sun Oct 02, 12:48:00 pm,
Cheryl said…
Let him not make his sandwiches a couple of times - just make sure he gfoes to school with no money, either, He'll start telling himself to make them after that.
As tp your daughter - seems she 'asked you nicely' as a formality after she had made all the arrangements - you are way more laid back than me!
At Mon Oct 03, 01:54:00 pm,
Altered Memories said…
Ugh. Not looking forward to raising teenagers...
Thanks for reminding me why.
lol
At Mon Oct 03, 09:21:00 pm,
Red Mum said…
LOL, very good, almost identical to my own conversations, bloody identical. I laughed hard. (sorry for laughing at your frustration, but it was classic... and far toooo similar)
I think we should leave your son and my daughter in a closed place with nothing but bread, ham and cheese.
Ha that'd teach 'em.
At Thu Oct 06, 01:06:00 pm,
Anonymous said…
I'm NOT looking forward to when my son will be that age.
He's only 2 now and already developed an impressive (annoying) talkback, for now it's sorta funny, but soon it will not.
At Fri Oct 14, 04:32:00 am,
Andrea Knapp said…
You know, I love reading your blog! You are so spot on with your observations (I go through the whole picking up after a disco thing ALL the time!).
I'm glad I'm no the only parent going through it!
At Sun Oct 23, 05:45:00 pm,
Angeline Rose Larimer said…
I have a relative in his early twenties who still thinks lying is comedy. He's a nice guy, except when he's trying to be funny. Holidays go something like this:
ME: "What have you been up to?"
HE: "Decapitating cats."
HIS MOM: "That's not true. He's started up a band with his friends, and they're really good."
HE: "I don't have any friends."
HIS MOM: "He's just kidding. His friends are very sweet."
HE: "No they aren't. Who do you think showed me how to decapitate cats?"
ME: "Could you pass the gravy, please?"
HE: "Pass the gravy--That's our band's name."
HIS MOM: "I thought it was..."
HE: "Stop thinking, Mom."
ME: "Seriously. How 'bout that gravy?"
HE: "I can't. I have carpal tunnel..."
ME: "From decapitating cats?"
He then looks at me like he has no idea what the hell I'm talking about.
I'm sure his friends find this type of communication hilarious. As for me, I'm just there for the mashed potatos. No show required.
*Really like your site. I'll be stopping in for research, as I've got some time before my kids hit puberty.
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