Its Cheryl's birthday

I just thought I would make a short post to let everyone in the blogsphere know that its Cheryl at Madbaggage's 45th birthday today. I am posting this because she is my friend and definitely not just because she forgot my birthday 5 days ago.

Just to recap this post is not to make the point that Cheryl forgot my birthday but I havent forgotten hers

Happy Birthday Cheryl

Cheryl click here please

Verbal Warning No1

I was talking to someone today about having to give a member of staff a verbal warning for having 5 mondays out of 6 off. He told me that it was because he had been out on the beer the night before and had a hell of a hangover on the monday morning, I explained to him that I appreciated his honesty but he was still getting a verbal warning.
This whole thing reminded me of when I got my first verbal warning whilst working as a butcher at a chain called Baxters: It was a traditional Butchers ( do you remember when they existed?)
I was in charge of the shop front i.e arranging the display in the window and cabinets and making sure it looked at its best and occasionally called upon to serve customers if we were really busy.
It was on one of these occasions that a posh lady ( you know the sort broom handle up her backside, nasty smell under her nose and a load of plums in her mouth) asks me"are the chickens fresh"
Me:- "fresh madam, I should say so, half an hour ago they were still eating corn,if they were any fresher the would still be clucking"
Woman:- (looking like the smell under her nose has just got worse) could I look at one please?
Me:- "certainly" picks up chicken on cellophane wrap and holds it out to woman
Woman then leans forward and smells the chicken under the wings and between the legs ( you know where the opening is for the stuffing)
Woman:- " It doesnt smell very fresh to me"
Me:- " do you think you could pass a test like that?
It was at this point I realised the woman had no sense of humour and she asked for the store manager. Cue verbal warning number one

Its my birthday so...........

Nicked this from Jo at le laquet as I thought it was relevant.For some reason when I posted it yesterday it ended up 3 posts down??????

Your Birthdate: January 26

You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena. Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top. You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate. Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success. Your strength: Your attention to detail Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes Your power color: Turquoise Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Its all true of course except for the bad bits LOL

Teachers Pet?

It was the end of the school year, and the infant school teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a long box, and she said "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers?"

"Right," said the boy. "How did you know?"

"Just a wild guess," she said.

The daughter of the owner of a sweet shop produced a gift. The teacher shook it, and said, "I bet I know what this is. A box of sweets?"

"That's right," said the girl, "but how did you know?"

"It was a lucky guess," said the teacher.

The next gift came from a boy whose father owned the off licence.
The teacher held the package overhead -- and noticed it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger, put it on her tongue, and asked the boy: "Is it wine?"

"No," the boy replied.

The teacher took up a larger drop and said, "Is it champagne?"

"No," said the boy, with great excitement. The teacher sipped one more drop, and declared, "I give up. What is it?"

"It's a puppy!!!"

The four Meme

A meme from Wulfweard the White or Paul Mckenna to his friends

Four Jobs You've Had In Your Life:
1. Butcher
2. Salesman
3. Civil Servant
4. Company Director

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over Again:

1. School for scoundrels
2. Dumb and dumber( the toilet scene just brings out the schoolboy in me)
3. Some like it Hot
4. Blade

Four Places You've Lived:

1. Manchester
2. Southend on sea
3. Taunton
4. Birmingham

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch:

1. CSi (Las Vegas)
2. QI ( Stephen Fry and Alan Davies-Funny and informative)
3. Dr. Who
4. Charmed ( its got Alyssa Milano in it!!)

Four Places You've Been On Vacation:

1. Florida
2. Morocco
3. Florence, Italy
4. Canaries

Four Blogs You Visit Daily:

1. Madbaggage
2. Chez Le laquet
3. Redmum
4. Old Hoss

Four Of Your Favorite Foods:

1. Rib Steak
2. Spaghetti Bolognese
3. Sunday Roast
4. Full English Breakfast

Four Albums You Can't Live Without:

1. Sitting on Top of the World- LeAnn Rimes
2. Best of UB40 I and II
3. The Buddy Holly Story
4. Bat out of Hell - Meatloaf

Four Vehicles You've Owned:

1. Chrysler Alpine ( what a shed, held together with filler and string)
2. Vauxhall Cavalier
3. Saab 9000 Turbo
4. Renault Grand Espace

Revelations

Found out today that i am dextrosinistral which explains a great deal

It set me thinking

I read Cheryls post earlier where she spoke about the term "being a bike" as a derogatory term for a woman of easy virtue, we then had a chat on msn with Cheryl ensuring that the term meant the same in this part of the country as it did down in the deep south, of England that is not Alabama.
We then had a discussion which can only be described as disturbing as we listed lots of other terms for this group of women Cheryl had to go to help/placate/shout at/beat/sell ( delete as applicable)the kids this made me veer off on a slight tangent:- do you remember the old song by a group( I think) called Racey (sp?) who had a hit record with a song with the lyrics:-

Some girls will,ooooohoooooooh some girls wont,oooooohooooooh
some girls need a lot of lovin and some girls don't,
Well, I know I've got the fever but I don't know why
Some girls say they will and some girls lie

I used to hear people singing along with that and have hysterics because they didn't really think about what they were singing.
In todays pc world (political correctness not the shop) they would probably be bannned from any play list in the very least if not hung, drawn and quartered.( I think that should be hanged but it didnt look right so will a spelling nazi please let me know)Then the government would set up a helpline and support group for these much maligned people who are just victims of modern society.

I'll get me coat

Top trivia about Steve

I saw that Jo had done this over at Chez le laquet and had a go myself. I thought it was a bit silly until I read number 7 and then I thought well maybe it does have some merit.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Steve!

1. If you break Steve, you will get seven years of bad luck!
2. Steveology is the study of Steve.
3. Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the amount of Steve in your ear 700 times.
4. Steve can sleep for three and a half years.
5. Originally, Steve could not fly!
6. In his entire life, Steve will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
7. The National Heart Foundation recommends eating Steve at least three times a week!
8. The eye of an ostrich is bigger than Steve.
9. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Steve!
10. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Steve.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Do bears and is the Pope?

I nicked this from Old Hoss just because it made me laugh as it is a phrase I use on a regular basis. I know sad isnt it.

9/11 conspiracy video

Saw this link over at Wulfweards blog and went for a quick look, ended up watching the whole thing which lasts just over an hour.

It asks a lot of questions and it would be an incredibly sad indictment of modern society, if, even some of the things it suggests are true.

I am in 2 minds about it, I find it difficult to believe that any government would but I do think that there are lots of questions to be answered.

Look for yourself here and let me know what you think.

Its 2006 already?

I hope the new year is what you wish it to be, I wish you all health, happiness and prosperity for 2006 and may I offer this Traditional Gaelic blessing to all my blog friends

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
May the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.