Seven Thingy Meme

I have been memed by Redmum
(Go and have a look a great site brilliantly written and her photography is amazing)

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die

1) Live somewhere warm for at least the 4 worst months of winter here

2) Fly a plane

3) Visit Orange County Choppers

4) Be a terrific Grandad and spoil the grandkids rotten

5) See more of the world (Eastern Europe, Australia, NZ, more of the USA)

6)Learn to play the Uillean pipes

7) Own another motor bike( I dont mean I have one and want another, I mean I had one years ago)

Seven things I can do

1) See both sides of an argument

2)Make a wicked smoothie ( according to the kids)

3) Cook fairly well

4) Look after myself i.e. washing, ironing, cleaning etc

5) Drive a forklift truck ( although the lad that work for me and do it for a living might beg to differ)

6) Ride a horse

7) Play Clair de la lune on a recorder

Seven things I can't do

1) Stop reading too many blogs

2) Type without looking at the keys

3) Wear a hat ( none ever look right)

4) Play the Piano

5) Draw or paint ( I am so crap the last time I helped one of the kids with art home work they were given a c-)

6) Carry out any electrical work ( tried twice before and almost electrocuted myself both times)

7) Drive the number 23 bus into Manchester ( I know this cos I asked the driver if I could as he stood outside his bus having a smoke earlier when I went to the shop)

Seven things that I find really attractive about the opposite sex

1) Bright Shiny eyes

2) Genuine Smile

3) Boobs ( any really)

4) Long Hair

5) Dressed Like a woman none of this androgynous nonsense

6) Figure ( A proper figure not a skeleton covered with skin)

7) Sense of humour

Seven things I say the most

1) Aye up ( I have lived in the country too long)

2) Cool ( afraid I have caught it from the kids)

3) Which part of no didn't you understand

4) Dont make me come up there ( Kids bedtime)

5) Is she on the phone again/still ( daughter)

6) THOMAS! put it down! ( Youngest age 3)

7) Hello hello can you hear me, hello, HELLO HELLO ( me on my mobile)


Seven Books I love

This is a difficult one as I love to read and have enjoyed lots of books over the years

1) The Rats by James Herbert ( the first book that scared the sh1t out of me, read under the covers by torchight

2) The Complete Illustrated Stories of Hans Christian Anderson my excuse is its for the kids bedtime stories

3) The Thirty-nine Steps (Penguin Popular Classics) Roger Hannay is the quintessential British Hero and watching the film starring Kenneth Moore made me go out and read the book

4) All the Harry Potter books

5)Comrades of War ~Sven Hassel ( pinched this one off my Dad and read it when I wasnt really allowed, found the descriptions of the war and the black humour that his characters used to cope were wonderful, have since read the whole series of books)

6) The Da Vinci Code ~ Dan Brown ( lots of discussion about the validity of this book, I just enjoyed the way it was crafted and the pace that it created)

7)Killing Floor (Jack Reacher Novels (Paperback)) ~ Lee Child - The latest book I have read, finished it on Sunday evening, I couldnt put it down and will certainly be looking out for more of this series

I would like to tag Cheryl, Shane, Doris and NickleAnnie

Free Association No 134

Another one from Lunanina

( I know I did one the other day but I am trying to catch up)

1. Girlfriends:: I like to have friends who are girls but "girlfriends" seems to have a different connotation
   
2. Here to stay:: The internet, I mean, could you imagine trying to close it down now?
   
3. Call me:: Debbie Harry and Blondie, my adolescent dream
   
4. Frustrated:: arrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhh
   
5. Public school:: Enjoyed every minute (question if anybody knows, why is it called Public School in the UK when its private, but Public in the USA means state run?)
   
6. Glitch:: The word people use just before they tell you how much longer it is going to take than anticipated OR how much more than quoted it going to cost
   
7. Cheese:: on Toast with Daddys sauce mmmmmmm
   
8. Director::'s Cut
   
9. Pivotal:: Life changing
   
10. Exclusive:: MINE all Mine mmmmuuuuuaaaahhhhhh
    

Free association No 133

Thanks again to Lunanina ..........she says I think

1. Fan:: Manchester City dont punish me for this, I was born in Ardwick Manchester so what choice did I have. Blue til I die
   
   
2. Scum:: Ray Winstone
   
   
3. Lily:: of the valley ( reminds me of my Gran)
   
   
4. Humid:: eeugh wet heat, the worst kind
   
   
5. Ghetto:: Blaster( this gave me the answer to No 10 below as one of my fav lines from the film is, in the future everything gets smaller and smaller except portable stereos)
   
   
6. Remember me?:: Johnny ( Johnnnnyyyyyy rememmmber meeeeeeeee, it was a record..... I know it was a long time ago......Stop pretending you dont remember it. Listen to a clip here)
   
   
7. Polished:: Shoes.... always a good judge of a person according to my grandad, clean nails and clean shoes, which is probably why he wasnt keen on our Coal man
   
   
8. Compose:: artistic invention
   
   
9. Squish:: I think to qualify as a squish it must ooze between your toes
   
   
10. Future:: Back to.........Michael J Fox film at an innocent time when we thought the special effects in it would never be bettered
    
    

Excuses excuses

I know I have been missing in action for nearly 2 weeks but I do have a good excuse. Honest, Trust me (Cheryl don’t say a word LOL)

Wednesday the 11th August I had to go here on business,

flew with these people

(Great airline and their boast is that they have the youngest planes in the european fleet)
Not a popular arrangement in my house (more will become clear later) but business is business.

I didn’t see much of the country as I flew in on Wednesday evening and was back in the UK late on Thursday night as one of the last flights in before total chaos took over at Heathrow (believe me panic did set in) but I did see this


and this



Then on Saturday 13th August I got something I have waited years for …… this



Which comes with a free spouse attachment

Now in the morning when I woke up and looked through the window to one of the neighbours building an ark, it really was raining that hard, I thought that the day would be ruined for my future (not very) wife.

I got to the church and it was still raining, the Priest was looking up references to what happened before Noah set sail and raised questions as to why did he take useless creatures onto the ark, like wasps, slugs, pigeons and cats ( I know I am gonna get stick for that last one but you are either a cat person or not and I am definitely not but that’s an entirely different post) The priest disagreed about the feline question and told me that lots of religious ministers like cats which I find peculiar as they wear a dog collar.

The worst part of the rain is that we had booked a horse and carriage to take us from the church to the reception. A horse and carriage with only a half hood I could just picture us arriving at the reception venue looking like drowned rats.

All that though was pushed to the back of my mind as I was stood at the front of the church and the music of the Bridal Procession by Wagner.

Everyone had told me I would be nervous.

Nearly everyone asked me, on the way into the church, in the church and as they arrived, whether I was nervous. I didn’t think that I would be, I mean we have been together for years and its not as if I thought she wouldn’t turn up but as soon as that music started I thanked god for Imodium and bicycle clips.

When the ceremony was over we were amazed that the rain had cleared and left a gorgeous blue sky with a sun so hot everywhere was dry. We had some pics at the church then off in the horse and cart carriage and even more amazingly it stayed dry whilst we got there and waited until the photos were almost done before it started raining quite heavily again (I edited that bit to keep it nice lol)

We had our reception here



which was a fantastic day and night do, the food was perfect and some of the guests enjoyed lots of liquid refreshment later on in the evening.
I mean I hope it was the Liquid refreshment after witnessing some of the moves on the dance floor; it brought back some fond memories seeing those robotic moves again, laugh I nearly bought a drink.

Anyway it was a lovely day and my wife and I enjoyed ourselves thoroughly

Please pass the sick bucket back when you have finished

Cows, Political Solutions and Business Techniques

(this is about the 10th time I have tried to post this so fingers crossed)

Ever wonder how political solutions work, Here's an explanation using cows as an analogy:

CAPITALISM: You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd mulitiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.

SOCIALISM: You have two cows and give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows, the government takes both and gives you somemilk.

FASCISM: You have two cows, the government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows; the government shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.

I recently heard some additional definitions about national business techniques. So staying with the cow theme

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force theother to produce the milk of four cows. Later you hire a consultant toanalyse why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH FIRM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want threecows.

A JAPANESE COMPANY: You have two cows. You redesign them so they areone-tenth the size and produce 20 times the milk. You create a clever cowcartoon image called Cowkimon and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN COMPANY: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN COMPANY: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You open a bottle of wine.

A RUSSIAN COMPANY: You have two cows. You count them and learn you havefive cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You stopcounting and open another bottle of Vodka.

A SWISS COMPANY: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You chargeothers for storing them.

A CHINESE COMPANY: You have three cows. You have 300 people milking them.You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsmanwho reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN COMPANY: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH COMPANY: You have two cows. Both are mad.

Free association No 131

Free association No 131 from Lunanina

1. Complexion:: The thing which is flawless on models featured on the cover of magazines....... after airbrushing of course
   
   
2. Teach:: Probably one of the most important things to be able to do as if there was no-one to teach then we would all have to learn by our own mistakes, which could be messy
   
   
3. Back to school:: I wish..... I had a fantastic time at school people always say enjoy your school days as they are the best days of your life, which you find out is true ....... only too late( My other halfs answer to this one would be it can,t come soon enough as she has to occupy the kids during the sumer holiday)
   
   
4. Months:: Things that seem to fly by quicker and quicker as you get older
   
   
5. Nominate:: To think that someone is better suited to something than you are and to say so. Can also be used as a weapon by nominating someone for a "poison chalice"
   
   
6. Favorite curse word:: Shit...... a good old fashioned all rounder
   
   
7. Concerned:: What parents always are but try to pretend not to be
   
   
8. Better:: get a bucket I'm gonna throw up ( Monty Python fans will understand)
   
   
9. Escalate:: Normally to get worse/ more serious
   
   
10. Unveil:: the latest model
    

Saw this

I saw this and just had to post it

What age do you act?

WoooHoooo I knew it !lolol

To take the test yourself click the link at the bottom

You Are 26 Years Old

26 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Free Association No 130

Free association No 130 from Lunanina

1. Risks:: Good and bad.... Good ones can enhance your life, personal or business and bad ones can put others in danger
   
2. Abdominal:: Crunches:- what I wish I had the time and /or inclination to do
   
3. Radiant:: Heat.... body heat , you know what I mean, when you get in bed and you are freezing and you other half is already there and all warm you have to snuggle up and get warm. Nice if you are the cold one but not if you are the warm one .
   
4. The usual:: What you used to be able to ask for in a proper British boozer (pub), before they were all taken over by themes and 12 yr old Landlords who are only interested in alchopops and who think service is what you get once a year at WImbledon
   
5. Mix and match:: Brings back memories of the time that fashion forgot the 1970's when you could mix and match that yellow cheese cloth shirt with those purple velvet trousers!!
   
6. Wireless:: 2 things first this makes me think of the fantastic day that my Nana gave me their old "wireless" (radio) to take to pieces and find out how it worked. I can remember opening the back to this huge radio and marvelling at the valves etc and wondering how they sent the music to it. Second, with all these new wireless applications for laptops, phones etc will there ever be that many signals travelling through the air that they bump into each other?
   
7. Remedial:: A much misused and abused term which actually is positive, meaning to remedy or correct difficiences which we all have in one way or another
   
8. Mile:: How far down the motorway you can get on a long journey before one of the kids asks " are we nearly there yet?"
   
9. Long lost:: Keys, remote controls, tools, wallet, shoes:- with a magpie for a 3 yr old son anything can be long lost or even gone forever.
   
10. Only one:: Highlander "There can be only one". Now by Highlander I mean the one that started with a guy who looked like thisWhich was a brilliant film , made better by the baddy ( the Krugan) created by the underated Clancy Brown and a fair couple of sequels but definitely not the Tv series which was absolute garbage and starred this guy who couldnt perfect his scottish accent

And seemed to be involved in every historical event ever to take place, oh I hear you saying " if it was that bad why were you watching it?" Answer my other half like to watch the pretty boy with the long hair mispronounce his "scottish" words and fall over the props.